texts from last night

[stillarhino]

you know the drill.

Comments

link | loz: breath of the wild

[skyglider]

01. Apparently I sent you a play-by-play of a bird and squirrel having a fight. I'm sorry.
02. It is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body.
03. I have shoes on. No pants. My pockets are full of ketchup and grass. It's a good night.
04. You were pointing at birds and yelling “YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR.”
05. On a rooftop. In drag. Drinking coffee. I regret nothing.
06. Time means nothing. I have a vague idea of what day it is.
07. Good morning. It’s 4 AM. The birds are singing.
08. [text/misfire at him!]

01

[menancia]

Actually, I was quite impressed by your powers of narration.

5

[pactmarshal]

Let me know if you want more coffee. I'm putting the pot on.

04

[multidisciplinary]

Because they were!! I do not understand why no one else is excited about this! Evolution is incredible!!!

Emet-Selch | Final Fantasy XIV (spoilers duh)

[recreator]

① Shame. What shame? I haven't experienced shame in at least 12,000 years and I'm not about to change that now.
② Whatever your answer is, the question is "no".
③ Dogs, dogs, dogs. Why is it always dogs?
④ [text/misfire]

2

[menancia]

Did you mean that the other way around?

3 i'm so sorry

[skyglider]

Ruff night?

3

[senorita_perfecta]

I wonder what sort of problems the dogs have gotten you into today.

4

[herewardbound]

bitch






... so that was the wrong number.

Good morning, Emet-Selch.

Venti | Genshin Impact

[concierto]

1. Is it time it test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body?
2. Fantastic night! Drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a roof, chased a llama, and fell from a fence!
3. So He turned water into wine? So what, I once flipped an entire mountain upside down while binging drinking one afternoon.
4. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colors of the winddddd
5. I don’t think you entirely understand. Size does matter.
6. Honestly, if I had a mora for every time I've been mistaken for a girl.

2

[grandduchess_anya]

Oh dear. Are you okay from the fence incident? Heard that fences can be a pain to fall from.

4

[disdelusioned]

[ Read 1:03 AM ]

3 he's so lucky this isn't song canon

[hearthwarming]

[ wait. what. ]

Wait. Did you really do that?

G'raha Tia | Final Fantasy XIV | probably Shadowbringers & Endwalker spoilers

[crystalized_hope]

01) it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body

2) that's the second time my extensive knowledge of Allagan history has gotten me laid

3) Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?

4) You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.

5) hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?

6) [Texts and/or misfires are welcome! I will label subjects for spoilers as needed]

3

[herewardbound]

no but now i am intrigued

oriphi | original (d&d) | i'm so sorry.

[hearthwarming]

1. I love having a boyfriend! I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and he still loves me!

2. And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday threesomes are one of them

3. The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.

4. Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.

5. Text her!

1

[senorita_perfecta]

Oh gee, he sure sounds like a great guy to date with. Did he cook the pancakes for you this morning?

Eustace | Granblue Fantasy

[flamekthunder]

1. Thank god dogs can't talk. They see way too much.
2. That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
3. You told me you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
4. You ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not having opposable thumbs.
5. There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
6. [text or misfire!]

5

[pactmarshal]

I told you I don't need supervision, Eustace.

Isabela Madrigal | Encanto

[senorita_perfecta]

1. Does someone call in for some cacti needles today?
2. Don’t get me wrong - I love silver and bracelets - but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
3. your horoscope this morning… very interesting… good luck today
4. no but I have been chillin’ like em’ homeboys in the rainforest yo!
5. [text/misfire] plant puns are also accepted

[herewardbound]

did you know every set of handcuffs uses the same key
you can just buy handcuff keys online, they aren't illegal to own
wear a big bracelet, tape one to the inside
#lifehack

Trahearne | Guild Wars 2

[pactmarshal]

1) I gave myself a pep talk in the archive bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.

2) Good morning beautiful! Want to steal a cat this weekend?

3) I am the drunkest tree in the tree.

4) The Pale Tree knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so she made me a workaholic to ensure I'd never romance them.

5) dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont give me antmore

6) Or text him!

2

[grandduchess_anya]

I have never stolen a cat in ever? That plan sounds really, um, intriguing.

tifa lockhart | final fantasy vii

[starshower]

1. I woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with my dreamotion.
2. Eustace totally narrated our dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
3. Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
4. Did I write to you last night crying about tacos and wedding planning again?
5. Text her, or misfire.

3

[disdelusioned]

Before. I would have taken the phone from him and deleted it if it had been taken after.

[He doesn't know you well yet, but you're his girlfriend's friend so HE GOT YOU.]

Anastasia Romanova | Anastasia (1997)

[grandduchess_anya]

1. He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
2. The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
3. please don't ironically join a cult
4. I swear if only I have a ruble for every time someone calls me her high ness.
5. [text/misfire]

4

[herewardbound]

You still probably wouldn't have much.
The ruble's barely worth more than the yen, last I checked.

aerith gainsborough | final fantasy vii

[everblooms]

1. this guy are really sick. he just threw up on the balcony then blamed it on garden gnomes...
*is
2. found him! he was crawling across the garden this time... he saw me, smiled, and i think he asked me for a napkin? not the most stable ship at sea right now, i'd guess.
3. we broke into the nutcracker high as shit its beautiful. someone, not saying who, cried
4. quick i need to know all the foods that the hungry caterpillar ate
5. i just woke up to a text from an unknown number apologizing for making me eat a full lemon. did i eat a full lemon last night? did YOU make me eat a full lemon last night?
5. text/misfire option!

2

[senorita_perfecta]

Oh, how did it went? I never went to the ballet before but I heard many great classics came from there.

Goro Akechi || Persona 5 Royal

[herewardbound]

1. My coping mechanisms may be worse than my problems
2. Did it hurt? When I told you to Google it and I was right
3. I have been having a weird fucking time
4. I'm afraid I do not take constructive criticism, only cash or credit
5. I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. It's indescribable.
6. didn't think chicken nuggets and mad bull were a me thing but it's happening tonight
7. You're too drunk for my bullshit, and I'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
8. I think the conversation started going downhill when I mentioned how many therapists I have.
9. It's not stalking. It's research.
0. hur hurr, wild card

5

[grandduchess_anya]

So how did that coffee tasted after not having it for a while? Is it really good?

Soldier: 76 | Overwatch

[steadypulse]

1.) I should probably stop doing things just because I think they’re funny. I'm not going to.

2.) No dude he sent me cemetery flowers, I know it. They are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. And he is not religious. So he robbed a freaking grave site for me. Am I like an accessory to grave robbing now??

3.) He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.

4.) I discovered moonshine and fell in love.

5.) Trust me, I’m a professional gay.

6.) Text him/Misfire

3

[herewardbound]

i think i have that

Madhuri | FFXIV (OC)

[songbird_slayer]

1. he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
2. I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
3. I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
4. I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
5. Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
6. [WILDCARD/MISFIRE TIME?]

4

[herewardbound]

I'm going to count to five and then i'm going to open fire on anything moving in my kitchen

beat | neo: the world ends with you

[stillarhino]

1. at some point imma tell ya "ive got this really bad idea! u in? " just go with it
2. i tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. twice.
3. .......do you have the salami in bed? im trying to make a sandwich.
4. i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
5. i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
6. well the pizza delivery man was probably surprised or hella intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning half naked
7. [text/misfire]

1

[skyglider]

Okay, I'm already in